The Labors of Unemployment

My my, I have been a slacker, haven't I. It seems that since leaving my job at Casa Manana, I'm just not much of a blogger. One would think that with all this extra free time on my hands, I'd be just a blogging away! But truth be told, there just isn't much happening that's blog-worthy. But it seems that my fans are hungry for more, so in good blogger form, I shall regale you with the tales of my days...

Yesterday morning I was very busy ensuring that the mattress on my bed was not too overstuffed, and that the small valley that exists where I sleep in the same place every night was properly proportioned to my body. I also needed to make sure my blankets were the proper temperture. It's a well known fact that it's very bad for blankets to spend too much time being chilly and should be warmed regularly.
Afterwards, I thought it necessary to rid the world of a few cups of coffee. Everyone should do their part or else coffee beans will soon take over the world. Then I realized I should really be sure that my refrigerator is not overstocked. So I alleviated some of the fridge-pressure by sacrificing my own body fat index for the good of the fridge. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.
That afternoon I was very busy making sure the couch cushions and pillows were all properly stuffed. This is very important for when company comes over. That's right, I'm doing this for you, people. I also made sure all the channels on my tv were working properly, and that the tv was functioning correctly in conjuction with the dvd and vcr.
It was also important to make sure my telephone, laptop computer, and ipod were all working up to par. Next I found that my clothes were strangely devoid of cat hair, so I thought it best to take a nap on the couch with Duncan to ensure proper cat-hair coverage.
Later that night I realized my friends must be going thru withdrawl symptoms by not seeing me in a full two days, so I thought it best to grace them with my presence and help them rid the world of a few more cups of coffee.
Finally I return home, after a long day's work, only to find that my mattress is once again in need of squishing. So, in a gesture of self-sacrifice, I find myself returning to the arduous task of mattress-overstuffing-prevention and blanket-warming.
Ah, what a long and busy day, only to wake up the next morning to do it all over again...will the cycle never end??