Awkward Silence

The blog will be taking a break for a little while, feel free to email me and I'll tell you why.

I Need 2 Change!

So we are in the middle of a sermon series right now called ineed2change.com. It's an awesome series so far and yes, it's the reason for the blog's continued silence despite repeated attempts at revitalization! But the truth is, that I too, need to change!
My number one thing I need to change is that I work WAAAY too much. My identity is beginning to become synonymous with work...that is not good! I don't have time for anything else other than mere survival. And with Christmas coming around the corner, it's time to change my priorities, and fast!
I also need to believe in miracles. I believe in my head that miracles are possible, but my heart has a hard time with it. I don't doubt God's power to do it, just for some reason doubt that he would actually invade my personal space to do it! Right now, there is no room at the inn of my heart for the birth of something unexpected and miraculous to happen...so I better start posting some eviction notices!
And I need relationships. And so do my friends who I never hang out with so me, Kara, Jami, and Ross have made a 40 day commitment to intentional relationships! That means we are going to find a hometeam to get plugged into and hang out at least once a week doing something fun for the next 40 days! And anyone else is allowed to join us so come join the fun!
Finally, I need to believe in the strength of my prayer life. Lately I've been praying because I'm supposed to, but have been neglecting the fact that they have some serious power!

Everyone should check out ineed2change.com and if you haven't been to a service at Fellowship Church during this series yet, get there THIS WEEKEND!!!



Sooo...what do you need to change?? :)

Squeaky Clean

So last night I'm doing my laundry. Which by the way doing the laundry in the comfort of my own home is a fabulous luxury I can now enjoy since I bought my first washer and dryer last Christmas!

I run 4 loads of wash with the same normal, regular, everyday detergent. Two loads on normal; one colors and one whites. Then two loads on delicate; one colors and one whites. Then for my last load, I need to wash the smelly, sawdust-covered sneakers that I not only work out in but also wear when working in our un-airconditioned scene shop...in August...in Texas...for the past 2 weeks...so needless to say, even the strongest stomach might keel over about now. So I put the sneakers in the washer. I put the exact same detergent into the washer as I used for the last four loads. I decide to try the "catalyst" setting, which is the heavily advertised feature of this particular washer. I believe it's labeled on the knob "heavy duty, wash-the-words-off-your-t-shirt, cleaner-than-your-mama-could-get it" setting, which I feel is appropriate for these particular sneakers. I decide to give it a try, close the lid, and leave the washer to work it's magic and return to the couch.

A few minutes later I get up to throw away a piece of trash in the garbage can, which happens to share a room with the washer. This is what I find...


Like me, at first glance you may wonder to yourself, "hmm, maybe that's just what the inside of the washer is supposed to look like in the middle of a cycle...?" but what you don't see is all the soap bubbles that were overflowing around the closed lid and beginning to spill down the sides...so no, that is not what the inside of the washer is supposed to look like in the middle of a cycle.

Apparently what the "catalyst" setting failed to mention is that it also cleans your floors, too.

Cricket...Cricket...

Ok, so it's been forever since I've posted. Some of you have written nasty emails. Some of you have wondered if I'm dead. Most of you haven't noticed. But that's ok, I've always said this is all really for my own amusement anyways...here I am, typing and giggling away, and there you are, just shaking your head at your computer.

Well, if you're one of those who haven't noticed, you won't be reading this anyways so why am I even talking to you. If you wondered if I'm dead, never fear, the sarcasm is alive and well. And if you've complained...well, write your own blog, dangitt!

But in all honesty, I've needed a bit of a blogging break. But I do miss the weekly rants and dorky adventures so I'm going to try to get back into swing of things here. Unfortunately, no mutant spiders have invaded my truck, nor have any random FBI agents come knocking on my door, so I don't have any fabulous stories right now but I will be on a mission to lock myself out of my apartment for find some other equally retarded move that you've come to expect from the Crys McDonald Show.
Stay tuned!

...how....I mean...how?

Some people lock themselves out of their cars. Me, I lock myself out of my apartment. You might be asking yourself how this is possible...

So I'm in my apartment Monday night relaxing in front of the tv. The phone rings, and as I'm talking I walk outside on my porch. I close the sliding glass door behind me because it's raining and I don't want Duncan to go outside and get wet. I talk for a few more minutes and realize I left my glass of water sitting on the counter, so I start to go back inside to get it. That's when I realize the charley bar on the sliding door has fallen down into the locked position, thus locking me outside on the porch!

Flabbergasted as to how this has happened, I realize there are actually a few upsides to my situation. First of all, I live on the bottom floor, so I'm not stranded 2 or 3 stories in the air, requiring some valiant prince to come by and shout "rapunzel, let down your hair" in order for me to be rescued. Second, I happened to be on the phone, so I can easily call someone for help (and text my friends so they can laugh at me).

Now, you would think the simple solution would be to just call my mom, have her bring over my spare key, and let me in. Unfortunately, it's not that simple. If you are an avid blog reader, you may know about my paranoid fear of someone coming into my apartment at night (yes, despite the knowledge that if they did, I would destroy them like a cock-a-roach), resulting in a compulsive need for all the doors and windows to be locked at all times. This would include the inside deadbolt that has no keyhole on the outside. So, having a spare key does me no good. Neither does calling a locksmith. So my options are now break a window, or have a locksmith come over and drill through my door at 9pm at night. Or, I could just give up and deal with it all in the morning, except my car keys are also mocking me from the counter.

Fortunately, God was smiling on me and the apartment maintenance man arrived (laughing, might I add...good thing I was laughing too...). He happened to have some excellent sliding-door-jimmying skills and we were able to pry it open enough for me to slide through and lift the bar.

I'm not sure who else this kind of thing happens too.

Random Moments of the C-Mac Show

You may have noticed in my more recent posts, the benefits of my fabulous new digital camera. Thought you would like to enjoy a few more of the spoils.



You can't tell me that's not cute.



Grapevine Lake


Todd and Adelita's Wedding








New Years Eve

The Plight of Mr. Lizard

The animal kingdom doesn't seem to understand the fact that my apartment, or whatever shelter I so choose to temporarily dwell, is a virtual deathbed for all intruders of the pest and rodent variety...which brings us to the latest casualty.
Here I was, minding my own business on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The porch door was open so Duncan could enjoy the weather, and he was snoozing in the sun when he discovered one of these aforementioned pests. He pursued, and naturally said pest took flight...right into my apartment (surely I had raised Duncan better than to chase something like that into our house??). I looked up just in time to see something scurry across the floor and into my recliner. I later learned it was a lizard...and I'm not talking about one of those teeny gecko things. This was a real, 4 inch long, slimy lizard. Ok maybe not slimy.
Now let me start my saying I am not afraid of lizards, nor was this any komodo dragon. But that doesn't mean I want it in my recliner, patiently waiting for night to fall when he can emerge from the depths of the chair springs and roam free in my apartment. So, Mr. Lizard as we will call him from now on, had to go.
My first thought was to get a bowl to trap him under once he escaped the chair. But, not willing to simply stroll out from the recliner and into my bowl, I needed to fashion some sort of poking device in order to drive him out. I started with a pen...definitely too short. I settled on a ruler. So I spent a good 30 minutes attempting to force him out of the nooks and crannies of the chair with my ruler...pretty much doing nothing but chasing him deeper into the chasms that I never noticed before within the depths of my recliner.
I paused. Found it necessary to document the occasion.

Refreshed, I decided to call Ross, who I consider a pretty good wrangler of wildlife. I don't know what I expected to get from him knowing he was already out of town, but I guess I was hoping he would have some great lizard-hunting tip like "lure it out with a piece of cheese" or something. No such luck. As I began to gain some important foresight, I realized if I suceeded in getting Mr. Lizard out of the chair, it was entirely possible he would escape my lighting-fast reflexes and foil my complicated bowl-trapping plot, and end up taking refuge under something else like the refrigerator, and I'd lose him forever.
So, I spent the next 10 minutes hauling the recliner outside onto the porch, lizard in tow, where I began the ruler-and-bowl game again. No dice. He was on to my plot. I needed a new plan of attack.

Not willing to simply close the footrest and crush him in the recliner, thus requiring me to clean Mr. Lizard guts out of it later, I slowly but methodically began a pattern of closing and opening the footrest, turning the chair upside down, turning it right side up again, and leaning it back to a reclined position. Gaining some ground in the battle, I found it necessary for more documentation.

My plan was working. The footrest mechanisms were forcing Mr Lizard toward the middle of the chair, and when it was leaned back he was being wedged out where the backrest met the seat. I was getting close, but I still needed something to pry him out the rest of the way, something more technical than a ruler.
I decided on a spatula.
Being able to wedge it into the folds of the seat right underneath him, after a few tries (the first with the spatula facing TOWARDS me...bad idea) I was able to get under him, slide him out and fling him across the porch. Not surprisingly, in the general direction of Duncan's teeth.
Somewhat dazed from his ordeal, Duncan had a good time playing with Mr. Lizard. Thus, victory was ours.

Looking at this picture, it kindof makes me wonder if it was all just Duncan's elaborate plan to get me to do all the hard work first...

Hallelujah!

Jimmy has officially graduated from TCU!!! We feared this day would never come. He and Cat will be moving to Lubbock at the end of June to start grad school (WHICH, by the way, I'm very upset with because I think they have no need to move until August which is when school starts, meaning they can spend more time with their fabulous sister, but whatever...). But at the least, they have to come back next summer to get married!

Jim's degree will be in music and Cat's will be...well...some sort of criminal...forensic...psychology...thing...just think CSI. All I know is it takes 6 years. Yikes.
Congrats to you both, ya'll are AWESOME!!!

You know what this means don't you...we're growing up.
I don't really know how I feel about that.

What God is Teaching Me

Legalism = Perfectionism (or the strive for it) = Lack of trust (because no one can do it as perfect as you) = Lack of vulnerability (because you don't trust anyone) = Loneliness = Strive to fill the void with something besides the only thing that can actually fill it, which is God.

What was it meant to be?

Grace = Acceptance (imperfections included) = Open-ness = Vulnerability = Fellowship = God's provision of abundance and satisfaction.

Hmmm.

Semester One...Check!

So today officially marks the end of my first semester at seminary! And, so far so good! After the first couple months of attempting to read pages of what seemed like theological gibberish, alternated with looking up every other word in a dictionary and routinely convincing myself that no, I was in fact NOT an idiot, I did get back into the groove of the whole going-to-school and remembering-how-to-study thing. Seriously though, not one reading assignment did I not have to look up the defintion of multiple words. One time, I counted six words in one sentence I didn't know...six!!! And I haven't graduated yet, so don't ask me what ecumenical or exegesis or hermenutic or empirical mean yet because I'm still working on it.

If we rewind to undergrad, you would find out that I was compulsively obsessed with making perfect grades...and I almost did it too, I received only two B's in my entire undergrad career (And yes, those 2 Bs still haunt me to this DAY...but I'm over it, whatever..., and no you are not shocked by this fact because I'm still the same OCD dork so go ahead and insert mock surprise here...). But this time around, I resolved to be less obsessed with the GRADE, and more obsessed with actually learning and retaining. You see, I have fabulous memorization skills, and this is the reason I graduated with such flying colors. I literally memorized everything the professor said, and of course with the sophistication of the state school system, the final exams more often than not would also literally be word for word straight from the professor's lecture. So, simply memorize everything the professor says all semester, and finals are a breeze. But ask me now what type of volcanic rock is identified by it's striations or what happened at the Battle of Milvian Bridge, and I couldn't tell you (Ok but I did remember "striations" and "milvian bridge" and I bet you didn't so there...). The thing is, I'm the kind of person that learns by DOING...application, putting my hands on something and figuring it out...that's why I was good at theatre and all my arts classes. You don't just sit and listen and then get quizzed, you DO (which, by the way is a good reason you would think I would also be good at math...but guess again).

So all of that to say that when I began grad school, I decided that I didn't want to just succeed on paper, but break the memorization habits and actually learn for the long term and put it to the pavement and apply it, even if that means getting, God forbid, a B (or a grade with other letters I like to pretend don't exist). And let me tell you...accomplishing that goal is going to be hard for an obessive compulsive perfectionist like me. But by the end of the semester, I did finally figure out that it is not necessary to look up every single word I don't know in a 2,000 page book...it's ok to miss a few words here and there if you're still getting the big picture.
Easy concept you say...well I don't think you've tried being as perfect as I try to be.

All that being said, I'm still hoping for an A :) (Hey, baby steps...)

Blog? What Blog?

Ok, so it's been over a month since my last post. I will understand if you have boycotted my blog and hate me forever...but lets face it, if you keep that up, you will be sorry and humorless for the rest of your life, and we both know that an unfunny, blogless life is not what God intended. So thus, El Bloggo has resumed. It seems, surprisingly enough, that things got a little hectic at work with Easter, and I think only after it was over did I really take my first breath of relief since Christmas. So the blog fell by the wayside. But now I'm back with a brand new invention and I'll be regaling you with tales about mutant spiders and eharmony rejections once more. Stay tuned for stories about how I am a rockstar and rode go-carts with Hillsong United, and also the wrap-up of my first semester of seminary!

Until then, I'll try to live a much more exciting life that is worthy of the blog.

Congratulations Bro!

So I want to brag on my super cool brother who just got accepted to the NYU Masters Program! And me, the straight-A student, is very jealous of the fact that despite his not so great grades, he still made it through with flying colors, a testament to just how much of a stinking awesome musician he is!!
So congratulations Jimmy!!!

A Word to the Wise

For those of you who might enjoy the occasional bowl of granola for a morning meal or mid-afternoon snack like myself, let me offer a word of wisdom. Perhaps, like me, you might purchase the "grape-nuts" brand of granola. There is nothing wrong with this. But, perhaps one day at the grocery store next to that box of granola, is a more attractive "organic" brand of this same granola. You are intrigued. This is still not a problem. You pick up both boxes and compare the nutritional charts right there in the middle of the aisle. I encourage this behavior. Then, after much contemplation, you decide to purchase the organic grape-nuts granola for a change of pace. This, my friend, is where you have gone horribly, horribly wrong.
I know this first hand, because yesterday when I opened this box of organic grape-nut granola, excited about my healthy choice of snack, I found myself not with a mouthful of tasty granola but instead some sort of foul woodchip concoction.
Trust me on this one, should the healthy cereal that is the grape-nut allure you into purchasing it's deceivingly tasty organic product, do not give in. I repeat, do not give in. Not unless you want a mouthful of woodchips.

Just when I thought I didn't have anything to write about...

Ever have one of those days when you end up at your destination, but you can't remember actually driving there? I was having one of those days today, and realized it about halfway to where I was going. It seemed like I was watching my life through a camera lens. I realized there were tons of people around me, but we were all isolated in our own little worlds, completely oblivious to each other. I wondered if anyone else wouldn't remember actually driving to their destination either. So I decided to take a little peek into everyone else's world as I passed by. The first guy was rocking out to his radio pretty hard core. One guy was picking his nose (I didn't pass by slow enough to see what he did with it...). A few people were just plain driving and didn't notice the crazy girl next to them not-so-subtly spying on them. But the last car was the best...as I passed by, I noticed a couple in the front seats, the passenger leaning over to the driver. Upon closer investigation, said couple is making out. Yes, while driving. And upon even closer investigation, said couple is actually two females. Yes, females. Making out. While driving.
I decided I didn't want to spy on anyone else after that, and went back to mindless driving in my own isolated world, where no one makes out.

Writer's Block

So it's been unacceptably long since my last post. But frankly, for some reason I've simply had no ideas for anything brilliant to write about! It's not that there's nothing exciting happening in my life, but I just can't seem to find an entertaining way to write about it. So, sorry for the absence, and I'll try to get the creative juices flowing again soon. Suggestions welcome! :)

Blog Makeover

Welcome to the new and improved blog, tell me what you think!!

The Almighty Idiot Box

Last night I found myself watching the premier of “America’s Next Top Model” (hey, I get 5 channels…that was the best option). I watched one hour of the two hour premier, and found myself absolutely disgusted. First of all, because, and I say this in the nicest way possible, these were not attractive women at all. And I mean body image aside, I’m just talking about their faces. Not attractive. Not even a little cute. Maybe one or two of them out of the twenty or thirty girls I could consider beautiful, but I really expected that a national television show which auditioned thousands of girls across the country would have more impressive results.
But on top of that, not one of them seemed to have any redeeming personality qualities. Granted, I only got to know them for one hour, but I was audibly groaning and scoffing in disgust at the tv. I am of the belief that even the most unattractive people become gorgeous by having a beautiful personality, and vice versa, the most stunning women become utterly repellent with nasty personalities. And even though I tried to give them this benefit of the doubt, there was beauty neither inside nor out.
And as they strutted around in their I-have-bigger-handkerchiefs-than-that bikinis, very few body structures could I find appealing, most entirely too skinny to be attractive at all, and keep in mind the camera adds ten pounds!
And yet, something inside my feminine brain still looked at my own body and part of me compared myself to them, and I didn’t measure up. Despite my conscious and audible disgust, some automatic part of me still coveted this “beauty”. And admittedly, I worked just a little harder during my workout this morning. WHY?? How does this make any sense at all?? It doesn’t. And yet it’s there, and it exists.

No matter how content and secure a woman can be with her body image, we live in a world that worships the almighty idiot-box, and with that we allow the media gods to hand us our ten commandments that we should live by. Thou shall be beautiful to those who must look at you, and thy beauty is defined as zero fat, zero muscle, 5’10’’, and layers of makeup, hairspray, and padded bras. Thou shall make enough money. Thou shall be powerful. Thou shall be sexy and desirable.
Whatever that means.

You Can't Please Everybody

So it’s the evening after our annual C3 Conference, and my brain is still a little crispy, but I realized I have not updated my blog since before Valentines Day and as a result, some of you have been leading humorless and boring doldrums of lives, awaiting the dry sarcastic entertainment that is the Crys McDonald Show. Thus, I am inspired to share the following story.
My cat, Duncan, is spoiled with a capital S. He has more toys than any animal I know, and would never dream of doing something charitable like box up the ones he never plays with and donate them do the less fortunate starving cats living in Africa. But he is spoiled because I love him, and I want only the best for the fuzzy little hairball (who occasionally tries to suffocate me in my sleep by curling up on my face). So, this week I decided to purchase some of that wet cat food in a can for him. I have never fed him this kind of cat food before because I always see the commercials of the pure white fuzzy himalayan eating it out of a wine glass on a red velvet pillow, and even I refuse to go to such lengths of spoilage. But, I recently read an article about how wet cat food is actually healthier than dry kibbles (I even looked for the organic brand, but no luck), so I bought three cans of varying flavors to bring home to his royal highness.
Tonight, it was no surprise that his majesty was at my feet within microseconds of the sound of a can opener. I put down this new tasty treat next to his dry kibbles, and Duncan immediately starting chowing down. Surprised he didn’t turn up his finicky nose at the cuisine, I left him to his dinner. A few minutes later, I came back to see if he ate his scrumptious snack.

Turns out he licked off all the juice and left the food.
This is my cat, ladies and gentlemen.

Solo Valentine

So I realized that next week will mark my fourth non-date valentine's day in a row. Now, any normal female spending this particular evening with only the tv and her cat might start to ask themselves if they are giving off some kind of male-repellant vibe, or if are they not attractive, or maybe what is wrong with them, or for the very confident, what is wrong with men that they don't notice said woman's fabulousness? Now I'm not going to say those questions haven't worked their way into my own head every now and then, I'm only human. But perhaps the quiz I took below entitled "What Does Your Candy Heart Say" might have a more self-affirming explanation for my dry spell?

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love. You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Is it because I drive a truck?

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

Squirrel - it's what's for supper

What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?

Celebrity Death Match

Inspired by the comments of my previous post, I have decided to arrange a Celebrity Death Match between Ryan Seacrest and Jack Bauer. Fortunately, this blog provides the exclusive play by play! The contenders are in their corners and the crowd is wild with anticipation...are you ready to ruuuummmbbblllleeee????

ROUND ONE
The bell rings and Ryan's eyes are immediately straying to the hot ladies in the front row. Focus, Ryan, focus! Jack's lightning quick reflexes take advantage of this and immediately go for Ryan's only weapon, his microphone. Jack is beating him over the head with it, and now he's..he's trying to strangle Ryan with the cord! And now Ryan is prying himself free by attempting to scratch Jack's eyes out, but wait...Jack just grabbed Ryan by his frosted tips and...what is he doing? Oh no! Jack just shoved the entire microphone up Ryan's nose!! Round One goes to Jack Bauer, folks!

ROUND TWO
Ryan is back in the game, and he wants vengence for his beloved microphone. Nobody touches Ryan's microphone...or his prefect tresses, for that matter. Ryan is...wait, he's getting out of the ring? What is he doing? He's going into the audience and...its...its...its William Hung! Ryan is bringing him into the ring and...oh god, William's singing!! Jack is covering his ears and is obviously weakened. William is still singing and now he's...oh folks, this is terrible...gyrating! Jack is howling in anger and agony, but he's still not out. So Ryan is leaving the ring again...what this time? He's bringing...who is that...it's Simon Cowell! He's bringing Simon Cowell into the ring, and now Simon is mentally harrassing Jack! Jack is on his knees, covering his ears against William and Simon, and now Ryan is starting to tell unbeliveably bad jokes!...William is getting louder and let me tell you folks, those hips don't lie...Simon continues to insult him and Ryan makes worse and worse jokes...and now Jack is on the ground...one...two...three...and the round goes to Ryan!!! Unbelievable folks, Ryan Seacrest has brought Jack Bauer to his knees! Who would have ever thought William Hung's voice had the power to bring down the inconquerable Jack Bauer??

ROUND THREE
And Round Three has begun, it all comes down to this, folks! Jack and Ryan are face to face, mano-a-mano, man versus...well, Ryan. And Ryan is charging Jack! But Jack just stiff-armed Ryan and now he's holding Ryan's forehead as Ryan swings with both arms trying to punch him! It looks like Ryan is starting to lose a little steam. He's stepping back, looks like he's trying to think of a new plan of attack. Wait...Jack is walking right towards him...Ryan backs up...he's against the ropes and Jack keeps advancing towards him, this could be it, folks! But wait, what's going on here? It looks like Jack is simply standing in front of Ryan, staring him down. He's not moving a muscle! Ryan is beginning to shake...and Jack seems to be giving him some kind of evil eye! What could Jack have up his sleeve? He continues to stare and...and...unbelievable! Ryan just fell to the ground and Jack didn't even touch him! It seems Jack Bauer has the ability to kill people with a single glimpse!!! And here's the ref...yes, it's official! Ryan is out cold, Jack has won! What a match, folks, what a match! And if everyone will draw their attention to the jumbo-tron, we will now play the song "So You Had a Bad Day" and reply slow-motion moments of Ryan's pathetic loss.

We'll see you next time folks, on Celebrity Death Match!

Standing Strong

About this time last year I started watching a little-known tv show on Tuesday nights, you've probably never heard of it. I never watched any of the other seasons because I was, and still am, morally opposed to such frivolity.
But last season, I thought it would be entertaining to watch the auditions. It was. After the auditions were over, I had little interest in watching the rest, but alas, my entertainment-savvy best friends were totally into it, so I took part in the weekly watching parties so I could heckle to my heart's content.
Unfortunately, the blood-sucking corporate machine masquerading under the title of "American Idol" succeeded in sucking in yet another Ryan-Seacrest-tolerating drone...me...and thus the addiction began.
Yes, I watched every week. Yes, I yelled at the tv, and often the voting public of America. Yes, I voted for Taylor and yes...I went to the concert. And you know what, I loved it. And I hate that.

But this year...I'm standing strong against American Idol. I refuse to fall victim to it's commercial fabrications and sacrifice not one, but TWO nights a week to it's broadcast just because I am addicted to the manufactured emotion and scripted drama of only semi-talented musicians and one drunk Paula Abdul. I won't do it. It won't suck me in. I don't care how much tension Ryan Seacrest can prolong over two solid hours. I'm standing strong.*

*What is not noted here is my undying addiction to 24, which does indeed occupy exactly one hour a week of my precious time, and to which no amount of non-violent, let-the-terrorists-live kind of rehab could change.

Just My Opinion

Guys, valentines day (or what I like to call "Single Awareness Day") is less than a month away. Do you have a crush on a girl that you want to ask out? Please, oh please, let me give you some advice. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, under any circumstances, ask her out in an email. OR a text message. The phone is barely acceptable. Be a man and ask her out in person...if she's as great as you think she is, she deserves it. Asking a girl out over the computer or text message is a cop out. You've just failed at your very first task as her potential future boyfriend...which does nothing to boost her confidence that you will have the courage it will take to actually BE her future boyfriend. And don't beat around the bush till she asks you out, either. Step up and be a man! My personal philosophy is that I don't care if you are Brad Pitt, if you ask me out in an email or text message, the answer is no. And I guarantee that any other girl worth your time will be similarly disappointed if you do.
Just my opinion.

Blog ADD

I've written too many long posts lately and my brain is tired. Soooo...

I like bread.
Mmmm...bread.

That concludes today's post.

Everyday Miracle

My recent life of utter chaos and disorder that masqueraded itself under the title of "Christmas" has come and gone, and now that I've had time to sleep and get back to my everyday life of somewhat less chaos and more order, you have the pleasure of hearing my thoughts about it.
Ok perhaps I am being a little dramatic with the phrase "utter chaos and disorder" but it did get pretty darn busy and ridiculously stressful for a while there. But, glutton for punishment that I am, it was also pretty fun. I had a lot to do with the preparation of the Grapevine Christmas services, but I was also the production manager for our Alliance campus, and it was really exciting to do something new and different and so much bigger than anything they've ever seen at that campus before. You know me...I can't do anything halfway, so it was go big or go home out at the Alliance campus! (Yes, that's also my shout-out to Ryan Mordecai...) And in the final 24 hours before the service, of course my eyes saw all the things we could or should have done better or wish we had time for. But my prayer that week (well, one of the many) was that God create the service HE truly wanted created for that campus, and not the one I wanted. And in the end, that was exactly what he did. It was amazing to see God's work on the service that we, as humans, could produce. We did our best, which frankly, in my eyes, was not good enough. But something happened between the very last run-through at 9am that morning and the very first service at 10. We took it as far as we could take it, and then the Holy Spirit stepped in and took it to the next level, where He wanted it to be. If you had been there, you would have seen it too.
In addition, never once did he leave my side that week, and there is no explanation other than the absolute power of the God that sustained me through it all. Every morning before the sun rose I surrendered the day to Him and simply praised Him for everything, good or bad, and every night with only a few hours before I had to get up again, I marveled at how He had come through that day.
While this was my first Christmas at Fellowship, or for that matter in ministry at all, I was expecting it to be difficult and for the spiritual warfare to be at full tilt. But for some reason what I didn't expect was the greatness of God to pervade it all! I mean knew he would be there, I knew we would all get through it, but the physical evidence of his hand on my life, and on the lives of my coworkers around me all trying to accomplish the same goal, for some reason I didn't expect and it just blew me away every day.
I've been involved with shows that all you try to do is get through the week, get the show up, and survive. I guess that's what I expected to do this Christmas...survive. But I did so much more than survive, I thrived! Yes, I was pretty wiped out by the time it was over, but the point is I succeeded! I was victorious! And the best part, it had nothing to do with me!
Going forward, it is my prayer that we can all offer that same surrender and praise every day, regardless of the circumstances. And after that, to not just know that God is capable of the Old-Testament miracles that we believe in our heads but maybe doubt could actually happen today, but instead to believe with our hearts, expect even, in the everyday miracle. And by "everyday", I don't mean insignificant or mundane or routine, but the miracles that happen everyday that we don't even notice. For example, the fact that the thousands of speeding missles we call cars doesn't happen to hit yours today. The fact that I woke up this morning and didn't have to take a single medication or pill to sustain any failing health. The fact that after my last heartbeat, there's another one after it that I never even thought about. Or after my last breath, there's another one after that, too. Everyday miracles.
I had every reason to look at the negative and throw in the towel that week. But those everyday miracles were so bright and obvious to me, Satan's attacks were irrelavent. I hope that challenging circumstances won't be the only thing that brings the everyday miracle to my attention, but now that I am reminded they are there, I will continue to see them and live a life in complete surrender and praise to the one who made them!

Basic Truths about Jack Bauer

1) Killing Jack Bauer doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.
2) If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.
3) If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life.
4) Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
5) If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it’s beef.
6) Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
7) 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
8) Let’s get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
9) Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
10) Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
11) When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
12) Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
13) Osama bin Laden’s recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
14) Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
15) Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
16) When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
17) Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
18) Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.
19) Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn’t a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
20) When Jack Bauer pees into the wind, the wind changes direction.
21) Jack Bauer’s favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
22) When Google can’t find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
23) You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
24) Jack Bauer can get McDonald’s breakfast after 10:30.
25) When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
26) Every mathematical inequality officially ends with “< Jack Bauer”.
27) In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the heck have you done with your life?
28) Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
29) In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
30) What color is Jack Bauer’s blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.
31) Guns don’t kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
32) If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
33) People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
34) Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
35) Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That’s why there’s no life on Mars.
36) Superman’s only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
37) When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.
38) It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.
39) Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
40) Jack Bauer’s family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

Disclaimer...oh, I wish I wrote this, but no, instead I shamefully stole it from another blog in order to save my own blog from being un-funny. If Jack Bauer had a blog, he'd do it too.

New Year's Resolutions

Ok, so it's a week after New Years, but that just means that you've had plenty of time to come up with your resolutions by now. I have to be honest, I had a hard time coming up with mine. Last year's was easy...the cliche "lose weight and get in shape, start living a healthier lifestyle...". But surprisingly enough, I really succeeded in keeping that one! Problem is, now I can't use it this year. And I don't think "go on a date" can really count as a resolution. So it took me some time to think about what I really wanted to improve on over the next year, but here's what I came up with:

1) Continue healthy lifestyle habits, and try to be as successful this year as I was last year in keeping up with it! That includes working out at a minimum of 4 days a week, but 6 on a regular basis, and of course eating healthy 6 days a week (hey, you gotta have a cheat day in there for pizza and ice cream!!)
2) Journal more. I don't mean 'dear diary' journals, I mean prayer journals in my quiet time. I used to do this all the time but seem to have fallen away from it, and I want to get back in the habit.
3) Not only READ God's word more, but also STUDY it more. I am notorious for finding great Christian self-improvement books for quiet time, but never opening the word. I need to make a point to get back into the word, but also to STUDY it. Of course going back to school will help with the study part.

So what are YOUR resolutions?? I want to hear them!! First of all because it's fun to get comments on my blog...but also so I can steal the good ones for myself...muh-ah-ah.

The Return of Blog

Yes, that's right, the greatest show on earth has returned!! Since my last post, we created this magical, beautiful, amazing encounter with God that we called a Christmas service. According to our pastor, there were 18 billion services. While there were one or two fewer than that, it was pretty close and it's taken us pretty much every waking moment, and many non-waking moments, since Thanksgiving to get it off the ground. More posts to come about that later!

In other news, my good friends Todd Baker and Adelita Gonzales, for those of you who know them, got engaged and have the best story about how a beautiful diamond ring was anonymously provided to them through the hand of God! They will be getting married at the beginning of May.
I also bought my first washer and dryer over the holiday! You may not think that's very exciting, but trust me, it is! It's almost like I'm a grown-up. I also got a new tv for Christmas and while I don't have cable, my fabulous rabbit ears from Kara now pick up an amazing 15 channels! And some additional Spanish ones to boot. And finally, you may notice that I am on vacation...at home...writing this blog...which means after multiple years without, I finally have internet access in my home!! It's like it's 2007 or something.
Also, grad school begins January 17th. I'm only taking one class (hey, it's been a while...I gotta ease my way back into the school thing!) and it's called "Intro to Theology". I'm really excited about it, I've always been a student at heart and to show you what a nerd I am, I got really excited when my textbooks arrived and I've already started reading them. (I know what you're thinking...what I REALLY needed for Christmas was a pocket protector...)
And finally, my mom had surgery this weekend, please keep her in your prayers! It was yesterday morning and all went as planned and she should be able to come home on Monday, but she has 6 weeks of recovery ahead of her where she's not allowed to do ANYthing, including drive!

Now that your caught up, this blog will resume posting it's regularly scheduled musings.