Worst Blogger Ever

So I haven’t updated my blog in a month. I am officially the worst blogger ever. And I don’t even have a good excuse…I’m unemployed! You would think I would have a new post every day in order to fill my uneventful, unemployed days. But no, I am a lazy bum of a blogger. Just call me the blogger bum. In fact, I think I feel a limerick coming on expressing my bum-ness…
There once was a big fat blogger bum
Who no longer blogged and was no longer fun
She sat like a blob and looked for a job
And asked everyone if they had any gum.

But rest assured, the random thoughts that assail my brain daily have not ceased their haphazard barrage, and while you think you have escaped the cheesy humor that is mine, you have thought wrong my dear friend. You cannot escape the cheese that is the Crys McDonald Show. Mua-ha-ha.
And because I know how much you’ve missed my cheesiness, here are some exceptionally random thoughts to make up for it. Some of these I have shared with my hometeam members in the “thought for the week” section of our weekly hometeam email. Poor things. They had no idea their hometeam leader was such a nerd. And now they must be taunted a second time!! (name that movie quote….I know you can do it….Erick, don't fail me now…)
Well enough ramblings for now. Enjoy the cheese!

After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
How do 'Do Not Walk On Grass' signs get there?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If it's called a boxing RING, then why are they square?
If knees were backward, what would chairs look like?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If the only thing to survive a plane crash is the black box, why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
What does the hotcake seller say when his hotcakes are selling quickly?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
Have ex-bankers become disinterested? Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted? Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed? Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional? Have ex-punsters been expunged? Ex-cowboys deranged? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
What's another word for synonym? What's another word for thesaurus?
If your driving in the car and you throw a cat out the window, does it become kitty litter?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my world.