My Secret!

I have a confession to make. I wasn’t going to blog about this because I was embarrassed at first but it’s just too funny not to.
So last month I decided to….cringe…join eharmony. I confess. I did it. I have paid someone money to find me a date. A date that could turn out to be the unibomber for all I know.
Not that eharmony is a bad site or anything, in fact as far as internet dating goes, I’d say it’s the site to go with. I just never really saw myself doing the whole internet dating thing. And don’t worry…I’m not so much concerned with finding “Mr. Right” and settling down and start popping out rug rats, but just that it might be nice to meet someone outside of the 8 people in my hometeam (yes, even though no one I meet could be better than you guys so keep the smart comments to yourself!)

So I join eharmony. I give them my credit card number and sign my life away. I pay them money. Actual, hard earned dollars that are rightfully mine. I fill out their twelve billion question personality profile that discovers your twelve billion levels of compatibility. I learn that one of my twelve billion personality traits is I’m not very patient in taking twelve billion question personality quizzes. (By the way, I never exaggerate. Never ever ever.) Ok so here’s where it gets good.
I hit “submit”. Up pops a little icon that says “searching”.
“Searching”
“Searching”
“Searching”
And then a page that says “We’re sorry, but there is currently no one in our database that is a suitable match for you. But please don’t give up because literally thousands of people are joining eharmony every day and we will continue to search for your matches”

So it’s true. I have the proof right there. I am incompatible with “literally thousands” of people! No wonder I can’t get a date, I’m completely incompatible with anyone in the DFW metroplex!! And to top it all off, I am listening to the radio a few nights later and there is a commercial about eharmony, and they are advertising that they have 4.5 million members in their database!! So it’s not just “thousands” of people I’m incompatible with, but millions!!!

Well you can’t say I didn’t try. I guess it saved me the time of dating “literally thousands” of people.

All I have to say is Mr. Right better not be a member of eharmony. :)
(And yes…I see the irony of this posting on the heels of the valentines day post…)