The Plight of Mr. Lizard

The animal kingdom doesn't seem to understand the fact that my apartment, or whatever shelter I so choose to temporarily dwell, is a virtual deathbed for all intruders of the pest and rodent variety...which brings us to the latest casualty.
Here I was, minding my own business on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The porch door was open so Duncan could enjoy the weather, and he was snoozing in the sun when he discovered one of these aforementioned pests. He pursued, and naturally said pest took flight...right into my apartment (surely I had raised Duncan better than to chase something like that into our house??). I looked up just in time to see something scurry across the floor and into my recliner. I later learned it was a lizard...and I'm not talking about one of those teeny gecko things. This was a real, 4 inch long, slimy lizard. Ok maybe not slimy.
Now let me start my saying I am not afraid of lizards, nor was this any komodo dragon. But that doesn't mean I want it in my recliner, patiently waiting for night to fall when he can emerge from the depths of the chair springs and roam free in my apartment. So, Mr. Lizard as we will call him from now on, had to go.
My first thought was to get a bowl to trap him under once he escaped the chair. But, not willing to simply stroll out from the recliner and into my bowl, I needed to fashion some sort of poking device in order to drive him out. I started with a pen...definitely too short. I settled on a ruler. So I spent a good 30 minutes attempting to force him out of the nooks and crannies of the chair with my ruler...pretty much doing nothing but chasing him deeper into the chasms that I never noticed before within the depths of my recliner.
I paused. Found it necessary to document the occasion.

Refreshed, I decided to call Ross, who I consider a pretty good wrangler of wildlife. I don't know what I expected to get from him knowing he was already out of town, but I guess I was hoping he would have some great lizard-hunting tip like "lure it out with a piece of cheese" or something. No such luck. As I began to gain some important foresight, I realized if I suceeded in getting Mr. Lizard out of the chair, it was entirely possible he would escape my lighting-fast reflexes and foil my complicated bowl-trapping plot, and end up taking refuge under something else like the refrigerator, and I'd lose him forever.
So, I spent the next 10 minutes hauling the recliner outside onto the porch, lizard in tow, where I began the ruler-and-bowl game again. No dice. He was on to my plot. I needed a new plan of attack.

Not willing to simply close the footrest and crush him in the recliner, thus requiring me to clean Mr. Lizard guts out of it later, I slowly but methodically began a pattern of closing and opening the footrest, turning the chair upside down, turning it right side up again, and leaning it back to a reclined position. Gaining some ground in the battle, I found it necessary for more documentation.

My plan was working. The footrest mechanisms were forcing Mr Lizard toward the middle of the chair, and when it was leaned back he was being wedged out where the backrest met the seat. I was getting close, but I still needed something to pry him out the rest of the way, something more technical than a ruler.
I decided on a spatula.
Being able to wedge it into the folds of the seat right underneath him, after a few tries (the first with the spatula facing TOWARDS me...bad idea) I was able to get under him, slide him out and fling him across the porch. Not surprisingly, in the general direction of Duncan's teeth.
Somewhat dazed from his ordeal, Duncan had a good time playing with Mr. Lizard. Thus, victory was ours.

Looking at this picture, it kindof makes me wonder if it was all just Duncan's elaborate plan to get me to do all the hard work first...