Worst Blogger Ever

So I haven’t updated my blog in a month. I am officially the worst blogger ever. And I don’t even have a good excuse…I’m unemployed! You would think I would have a new post every day in order to fill my uneventful, unemployed days. But no, I am a lazy bum of a blogger. Just call me the blogger bum. In fact, I think I feel a limerick coming on expressing my bum-ness…
There once was a big fat blogger bum
Who no longer blogged and was no longer fun
She sat like a blob and looked for a job
And asked everyone if they had any gum.

But rest assured, the random thoughts that assail my brain daily have not ceased their haphazard barrage, and while you think you have escaped the cheesy humor that is mine, you have thought wrong my dear friend. You cannot escape the cheese that is the Crys McDonald Show. Mua-ha-ha.
And because I know how much you’ve missed my cheesiness, here are some exceptionally random thoughts to make up for it. Some of these I have shared with my hometeam members in the “thought for the week” section of our weekly hometeam email. Poor things. They had no idea their hometeam leader was such a nerd. And now they must be taunted a second time!! (name that movie quote….I know you can do it….Erick, don't fail me now…)
Well enough ramblings for now. Enjoy the cheese!

After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
How do 'Do Not Walk On Grass' signs get there?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If it's called a boxing RING, then why are they square?
If knees were backward, what would chairs look like?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If the only thing to survive a plane crash is the black box, why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
What does the hotcake seller say when his hotcakes are selling quickly?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
Have ex-bankers become disinterested? Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted? Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed? Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional? Have ex-punsters been expunged? Ex-cowboys deranged? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
What's another word for synonym? What's another word for thesaurus?
If your driving in the car and you throw a cat out the window, does it become kitty litter?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my world.

Why I love...Kara!

My very good friend and fellow blogger Sara Shields one day had the wonderful idea of telling everyone who reads her blog how great her friends are. And because I am currently out of creative blogging ideas, I shall shamelessly steal hers. So here is installment #1 of Why I Love…

Why I Love Kara…first of all she’s stinkin’ gorgeous, how can you not love her? Just being around her makes you more attractive because of all the hot-ness vibes radiating off of her! Strangers have actually walked up to her to ask if she is a model. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. But even more beautiful is her personality on the inside. She has one of the biggest, most giving hearts of anyone I have ever met. Serving others before herself is never a question for her. She is sensitive and vulnerable and embodies femininity without losing her strength and independence…something I have yet to master! She is passionate and will not hesitate to give you her love and encouragement. And above all, everything about her and her life are all about God and following in His footsteps as closely as possible.
I also love how she’s one of the few people who GET me! This is because we share the same brain. She is just as dorky and goofy as I am and when other people roll their eyes and tell me how cheesy I am, she just giggles and laughs along with me, usually heaping more cheesiness on top! I never have to worry about looking or acting like a complete nerd around her because she doesn’t care. I love that we can totally kick butt at pictionary and can look at each other across the room and know exactly what the other is thinking! I love that she teaches me that it’s ok to be a little girly, but still calls me to come over and squish the bugs or catch the lizards! I love that she spends most of the day on the computer like me so I get to talk to her every now and then during the workday to make my day a little brighter! I love that she decorates her apartment way better than mine and knows every word to every *Nsync, Backstreet Boys, NKOTB, and every other miscellaneous boy band song ever created. And I love that any line from Friends I quote, no matter how random or obscure, she instantly recognizes. The same goes for any Kidd Kraddick/Kiss FM reference.
Kara is the greatest and everyone who reads this should comment on how much they love Kara too, because I know you do! And that is why I love Kara!!

Welcome to the Crys McDonald Show!

You may have noticed that I changed the name of my blog. While it is still my stinking cool blog, I decided perhaps people should not get the idea that I do not shower. So welcome to the Crys McDonald Show, because at least in this tiny little corner of the world, it's all about me. So there.
And in celebration of...well, me...Kara once sent me one of those fabulous and not at all time wasting surveys asking all kinds of random questions, and since I know these are very important things you all want to know about me, well consider yourself enlightened!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:30 am
2. Diamonds or pearls? Whichever one I can pawn for the most gas money.
3. What was the last film you saw? The Brother's Grimm
4. What are your favorite TV shows? Friends!!
5. What did you have for breakfast? Smart Start Cereal
6. What is your middle name? Lee
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian
8. What foods do you dislike? Not a big seafood fan.
9. What is your favorite crisp flavor? Not sure what this question is, but the best flavors are always chocolate!
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? all of them since they're in my brand new iPod!
11. What kind of car do you drive? the big green machine, a Ford F150
12. Favorite sandwich? as long as it's not ramen noodles I'm happy
13. What characteristic do you despise? lying
14. Favorite item of clothing? jeans and a tshirt
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? road trip across America! and then a road trip across Europe! And then...you get the idea...
16 What color is your bathroom? just white...no painting in apartments!
17. What is your favorite brand of toilet paper? whatever's the cheapest...does anyone really have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
18. Where would you like to retire to? never thought about it before.
19. Favorite time of the day? sunrise or sunset
20. What was your most memorable birthday? This last one was pretty cool, Kara took me to Medieval Times! The black knight was hot.
21. Where were you born? Weymouth, Massachusetts.
22 Favorite sport to watch? I'd rather play.
24. Coke or Pepsi? Dr Pepper dude, this is Texas.
25. Are you a morning person or a night owl? night owl...like I could be anything else in theatre!
26. What is your shoe size? 9
27. Do you have any pets? Only the best pet a gal could have, my cat Duncan!
28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with your family & friends? I'm getting married!!.....well, someday.
29. What did you want to be when you were little? an actress, until I realized I can't act my way out of a paper bag so I decided to be a stage manager, so I could boss all the paper bags around
30. What are you doing today? duh, posting my blog...
31. What is your favorite color? black or green
32. What is your favorite flower? daffodils. Roses are great but run the cliche risk.
33. What do you honor most? The God-Meister

Just to Prove My Nerdiness...

So yesterday I got the crazy idea that I should audition for the praise team at Fellowship Church...yes, the same Fellowship Church that has about 18,000 people every weekend!
I had a blast. I am already a part of the choir and had to audition for that, so I knew a little of what to expect.
So I walk onstage...yes, onstage, with a spotlight and everything...to audition. "Hi Crys" I hear Yanci's voice say, although I can't really see her in the audience. "What are you singing for us?" "I'll be singing How Great is Our God by Chris Tomlin...because he has a really cool name" (NERD!!!) They chuckle at my nerdiness...phew. "And also Angel by Sarah McLaughlin"

It was so much fun. And by fun, I mean scary beyond all reason and I was going to throw up....but fun! But let me tell you what a cool experience it was to hear my voice filling up that huge worship center. Even if I never get to sing again on that stage, that's ok with me because that was cool enough right there! I'm so glad I got to do it!! I was never really convinced that I would actually make it, I mean with people like Rob Johnson and Eric and Yanci and Vanessa and Michael on the praise team, their standards are pretty high! I just wanted to do the best job I could do and enjoy the experience. I was a little dissapointed because I was sooo nervous that I don't feel like I did my very best, but I guess that's ok. Whatever happens, happens.

So I enjoyed each moment as it was happening, not taking for granted a single second because I might never get the chance to do that again...and it was awesome. Afterwards, I went into the audience so they could tell me how I did...and here's where my true nerd-dom shone thru. Let me preface by saying that the last time I auditioned, it was for Yanci and Vanessa, so for some reason in my head I just expected them to be there again. But instead it was Yanci and Michael Higdon...yes, Michael Higdon who is the coolest worship leader ever and I wish I could play guitar like him! So what do I do? Do I conduct myself in a calm and professional manner, impressing them with how blasse I think it is to audition because I'm so experienced and I've done this so many times before? Nooooooo. Instead, before I realize what's coming out of my mouth, I say "!! It's Michael Higdon! I want to be you!!"

NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD!!! He laughed and joked "you're in!", meanwhile I'm sure he was thinking "I've never met a bigger nerd in my life". But they said I did a great job and they love Sarah McLaughlin. They didn't ask me to be on the praise team, but they didn't kick me out of the choir either so I figure that's probably pretty good. :)
But what was even cooler was since I noted that I play the piano and guitar on my audition form, and my music track to How Great is Our God was actually me playing the guitar, Michael asked if I would come to the band auditions in a few months b/c they always need girl players! I thought that was way cool. Of course that is no indication of what they'll say when I actually audition, but it was still cool. Honestly, if I had to choose, I'd have much more fun playing guitar than singing anyways....plus people stare at you less if you're not the lead singer, and that's always a plus in my book. ;) So I guess now it's time to start practicing for band auditions!!

Well that was my praise team audition experience and the latest in the Adventures of Nerd Girl. At least I was wearing my Napolean Dynamite t-shirt so there was no mistaking my nerdiness.

Crystal Cathey

This Wednesday October 5th marked the 2-year anniversary of when one of my best friends from high school, Crystal Cathey, passed away in a car accident. I can't beleive it's been two whole years already...it seems like only yesterday that I was graduating college. Then again, I can't believe two years is all it's been, it seems like so long ago. Funny how the brain works like that.
I went to visit her grave yesterday (and let me tell you how surreal it is to see your own name on a gravestone...). I can still remember what it looked like on this day two years ago...the cars that lined the street, the tent over her coffin with all the flowers. I could look at different places in the ground that now are nothing but tufts of grass, and say "that's where Blake was standing....that's where her parents were sitting..."

But on the other hand, it was only a few weeks later that I attended my very first hometeam at Fellowship church. Interesting how a memory with so much sorrow can be attached to one with so much joy! I really can't believe it's been two years at Fellowship. The friends and relationships I have made here haven't been like anything else in my life. I treasure those people and those relationships so much and I would surely give anything for any one of them! I can't even put into words how meaningful they are to me. So to all my brothers and sisters in Christ who are also my very best friends in the whole wide world...I love you so much! Thank you so much for everything you've done in my life over the past two years that I have known you...and drive safely.